is a place to do go deeper
into your depression, anxiety ADHD
etc. and find our patterns to understand
how our past impacts our present….
Here we take our time to
unpack and dissect patterns and
emotions. The intention is to give
yourself a clearer understanding of
where these unhealthy patterns
Often people will reference an incident
that occurred in their adult life as the origins
of negative feeling. They can be confused
as to why they can’t “get over it”. It is rare
that these adult experiences are the origins
of the actual problem.
Most patterns began in our childhood as
coping mechanisms to survive or make sense of
what is confusing. These patterns evolve over
time until they become the “stuckness” we feel
in our adult life. By uncovering the origins and
giving it a voice you can rewrite these coping mechanism or let them go all together.
How do you help break through the stuckness?
I am a pattern tracker: I watch for behavioral shifts, body language, tones of voice, and patterns of
speech. I then compile the information I observe and track familiarities. Through learning your patterns
of behavior we can begin to trace them back to where they began. We can then empower you to stop
reacting and begin responding. Most importantly, we can learn why they began.
- The answer is in the “why” of it all.
Now that we know why I respond this way, what’s next?
Here is where you get to rewrite your story and become the person you’ve always known yourself to be. For instance: How do you want to respond to an angry person who is yelling at you? According to one client’s story:
“In the past I use to shut down and cry when a man, specifically, raised his voice to me. I would become powerless and freeze. Now I understand it was because of my experience with my abusive father that I was taught to be silent and fearful of anger.
I no longer am afraid of anger. I have learned how to speak up and protect myself. Today I welcome anger, embrace it even, because I believe it can be a healthy and necessary emotion.”
But I don’t want to linger in the past…
Neither do I! I spend only as much time in the past as needed to understand the present. Think of it as dipping your toes in the past rather than swimming in it. The present is the most important place to exist; here is where life is happening. Dipping into the past bridges the gap between then and now and enlightens you to a deeper sense of self.
Depression, anxiety and addiction are unhealthy coping skills to avoid being in the present. They keep us stuck in the past and what once was.
-Freedom can only be found in the present moment
How does systems counseling affect my treatment?
It is not rare that during therapy you might find yourself stuck around a person(s). This person or persons keep you from moving forward in your progress. This is where my systems approach can assist in letting go. I will often recommend inviting this person(s) into session so we can face the problem head on. I suggest these group sessions when the relationship with the person(s) wants to be healed and cherished. This often results in positive movement for you and for the person(s).
No way am I bringing someone in, that sounds terrifying!
Confrontation can be scary but it isn’t always aggressive. In our society we have come to associate confronting with hostility. During these sessions, it is my role to keep everyone calm and safe. I create a space to be heard and honored, so the real issues can finally be addressed. I have found that most of these sessions result in positive healing for all parties involved - if the healing is welcomed.
Do I have to bring the people I feel stuck with into session with me?
Your safety and comfort level are my priority always. Part of my approach is being creative and flexible so it is not necessary to bring them in. We can still work through the issues individually and reach the same place of healing. This option is not meant to be for everybody.
What’s your objective as my psychotherapist?
What I don't want it to be is to uncover every stone. But, instead, to teach you how to track your own reactivity and slow down your process. To uncover - rediscover - learn your truest self by being curious. Learn what your shadow side is really all about, hear your story, honor it, and celebrate while granting permission to thrive.
Psychotherapy is not life-long, even though at times it might feel you will never be successful without it. And for some of us we might need it longer or more often throughout our life. A benefit of this, of course, is a deeper level of growth and awareness.
During those in between times, however, I believe it is necessary for you to have your own toolbox of coping skills and self-awareness so you can function independently in a healthy life.
-Once you have a solid toolbox you will be more self-sufficient to embrace life with all its ups and downs.